Adries World
Adries World
Baby Opossums!
Baby opossums
Originally written: 9-2-07
I am the proud (though unlikely) foster mommy of 4 baby opossums
(more accurately young adolescent opossums.)
Oh where to begin? I am a typical Los Angeles girl through and through.
Can even claim native status thanks to the Queen of Angeles Hospital and my first pediatrician
Dr. Fleiss (never-mind his notorious daughter.)
Like most city girls and guys I have always regarded opossums (or 'possums) as overgrown rodents.
to be exterminated on sight. I knew they were known for invading attics
and pestering everyone they came in contact with.
I didn't want to know anymore than that!
Somewhere along the line I'd also decided they were rabid, plague carrying animals
with nasty, unprovoked aggressive dispositions; capable of inflicting great damage to humans
and more respectable animals such as cats and Chihuahuas!
How I had come up with this I'm not sure,
but there may have been wine and a horror movie involved.
In short, they were no good, blood-thirty, germ infested beasts.
It should be noted, until recently, the only opossums I'd ever actually seen were....road kill.
Okay, cut life, breaking up with DK, moving north to "Great Wild Wood."
It saddens me to admit, but my new nightlife consists of sweat pants and shirt,
Second Life, and mobile phone Yahtzee played on the front porch
with a cigarette and a cup of coffee, oh, and mukluks strapped to my feet.
The one and only time I tried wearing heels out I sank in the mud and
the outfit attached to the heels just made it seem pointless for an outing to the local grocery store!
Putting my, what I then considered, pathetic new existence aside, things began to happen.
I was sitting on the porch toking a fag and losing at mobile phone Yatzhee.
My cell reception is terrible in the woods, if it weren't for the games on my phone i
t would be all but worthless. In an emergency I'd have better luck screaming for help!
So I was rolling for a large straight when out of the darkness I saw something move.
Naturally I thought it was my rotund black and white tuxedo cat, then referred to as Forrest
(more recently as Butter ), come to visit me. I called "here kitty,kitty". It moved towards me.
So far so good. Until it got close enough so I could see it and (I guess) so it could see me
(opossums have terrible eye sight).
"IT," was not my cat. "IT," was not even a cat. Or a dog.
It was to my minds eyes what could only be one of those giant South American
rodents I'd seen on Animal Planet, the Capybara. I screamed, hurled my phone in its direction
and did the only adult thing I could - I ran in the house, locked the door,
and had half dialed the police station before catching and stopping myself.
Instead I dialed my mother (of course).
Now in my defense. I am my very own "When Nature Attacks" special.
A one woman natural disaster. There was the time I accidentally hatched 200 snakes in my garage.
I was gang raped by a herd of angry ostrich (no kidding there, those fuckers are mean
and they like curly hair and shiny objects -which I am both).
If your ever in a position where a herd of angry ostrich surround you fall to the ground,
curl into a ball and protect your face and neck -it's really all you can do! moving on,
I have been chased and sprayed by a skunk, mauled by petting zoo goats,
and I almost got bit by a rattlesnake -on my breast (long story).
And than there was the time in my convertible that 2 enormous mountain lions circled my car.
Completely in awe of the creatures my reaction was to lock my doors,
never-mind the convertible top was down!
I'm just saying, nature feels, its in my own best interest that I stay home...
This time I was unfortunately home. In the woods, where I now live!
Home alone, being invaded by giant South American rodents.
My mother answered on the third ring and pieced together from my ramblings
that I'd encountered some animal outside. She said it sounded like a opossum
and asked how big it was.
The size question plus my mothers totally relaxed tone of voice
helped snap me back into reality.
It it was indeed an opossum, well, it hadn't been that big.
Now, if it had been a rat it was a mammoth!
But opossum, as road kill they'd always looked, well, broad and flat!
Even taking into consideration the things "living" status, it hadn't been that big.
It had been rather smallish. "Oh!" My mother exclaimed. "It's probably a baby."
5 minutes later, I'd promised my mother I wouldn't throw anything else at it OR poison it.
She'd reminded me I was in their territory these days and I should try and get along
with the critters scattered around me. And, she reminded me, they were ALL around me!
Whether I admitted it or not.
10 minutes later, I wanted another fag and my freaking phone.
Did Opossums carry off things like cell phones? Had I hit it? Scared it permanently away?
30 minutes later, I bravely left the lookup post I'd setup by the kitchen window.
It had been almost an hour with no signs of anything.
Just my lonely phone lying in the dirt, battery rapidly draining. Like a trooper
I grabbed a tennis racket, pulled my winter cap down low and headed for the wilds
that had become my front porch...
Stay on the lookout for Part Two of Baby Opossums.
In the meantime, here are some baby opossum facts I learned today:
North America's only marsupial (female has a pouch) mammal.
The female carries and nurses her young in her marsupium until they are about 2 to 3 months old;
then they are carried on her back another 1 to 2 months whenever they are away from the den.
Size of a cat; gray to black fur; black eyes; pink nose, feet and tail; black ears; and pointed nose.
Solitary and nocturnal: usually slow moving; when frightened and unable to flee
may fall into an involuntary shock-like state, "playing 'possum".
Hiss or growl and show their 50 sharp teeth when frightened; but, in reality,
they are gentle and placid— they prefer to avoid all confrontations and wish to be left alone.
Omnivorous: eats insects, snails, rodents, berries, over-ripe fruit, grasses, leaves, and carrion;
occasionally will eat snakes, ground eggs, corn or other vegetables.
Adaptable; able to live wherever water, food, and shelter exist. At home in trees;
uses its prehensile tail to help stabilize position when climbing— it does not, however, hang by its tail.
One of the shortest lived mammals for its size, typically 2 to 4 years.
Killed by many predators: humans (and cars), dogs, cats, owls, and larger wildlife.
Originally written: 9-2-07
I am the proud (though unlikely) foster mommy of 4 baby opossums
(more accurately young adolescent opossums.)
Oh where to begin? I am a typical Los Angeles girl through and through.
Can even claim native status thanks to the Queen of Angeles Hospital and my first pediatrician
Dr. Fleiss (never-mind his notorious daughter.)
Like most city girls and guys I have always regarded opossums (or 'possums) as overgrown rodents.
to be exterminated on sight. I knew they were known for invading attics
and pestering everyone they came in contact with.
I didn't want to know anymore than that!
Somewhere along the line I'd also decided they were rabid, plague carrying animals
with nasty, unprovoked aggressive dispositions; capable of inflicting great damage to humans
and more respectable animals such as cats and Chihuahuas!
How I had come up with this I'm not sure,
but there may have been wine and a horror movie involved.
In short, they were no good, blood-thirty, germ infested beasts.
It should be noted, until recently, the only opossums I'd ever actually seen were....road kill.
Okay, cut life, breaking up with DK, moving north to "Great Wild Wood."
It saddens me to admit, but my new nightlife consists of sweat pants and shirt,
Second Life, and mobile phone Yahtzee played on the front porch
with a cigarette and a cup of coffee, oh, and mukluks strapped to my feet.
The one and only time I tried wearing heels out I sank in the mud and
the outfit attached to the heels just made it seem pointless for an outing to the local grocery store!
Putting my, what I then considered, pathetic new existence aside, things began to happen.
I was sitting on the porch toking a fag and losing at mobile phone Yatzhee.
My cell reception is terrible in the woods, if it weren't for the games on my phone i
t would be all but worthless. In an emergency I'd have better luck screaming for help!
So I was rolling for a large straight when out of the darkness I saw something move.
Naturally I thought it was my rotund black and white tuxedo cat, then referred to as Forrest
(more recently as Butter ), come to visit me. I called "here kitty,kitty". It moved towards me.
So far so good. Until it got close enough so I could see it and (I guess) so it could see me
(opossums have terrible eye sight).
"IT," was not my cat. "IT," was not even a cat. Or a dog.
It was to my minds eyes what could only be one of those giant South American
rodents I'd seen on Animal Planet, the Capybara. I screamed, hurled my phone in its direction
and did the only adult thing I could - I ran in the house, locked the door,
and had half dialed the police station before catching and stopping myself.
Instead I dialed my mother (of course).
Now in my defense. I am my very own "When Nature Attacks" special.
A one woman natural disaster. There was the time I accidentally hatched 200 snakes in my garage.
I was gang raped by a herd of angry ostrich (no kidding there, those fuckers are mean
and they like curly hair and shiny objects -which I am both).
If your ever in a position where a herd of angry ostrich surround you fall to the ground,
curl into a ball and protect your face and neck -it's really all you can do! moving on,
I have been chased and sprayed by a skunk, mauled by petting zoo goats,
and I almost got bit by a rattlesnake -on my breast (long story).
And than there was the time in my convertible that 2 enormous mountain lions circled my car.
Completely in awe of the creatures my reaction was to lock my doors,
never-mind the convertible top was down!
I'm just saying, nature feels, its in my own best interest that I stay home...
This time I was unfortunately home. In the woods, where I now live!
Home alone, being invaded by giant South American rodents.
My mother answered on the third ring and pieced together from my ramblings
that I'd encountered some animal outside. She said it sounded like a opossum
and asked how big it was.
The size question plus my mothers totally relaxed tone of voice
helped snap me back into reality.
It it was indeed an opossum, well, it hadn't been that big.
Now, if it had been a rat it was a mammoth!
But opossum, as road kill they'd always looked, well, broad and flat!
Even taking into consideration the things "living" status, it hadn't been that big.
It had been rather smallish. "Oh!" My mother exclaimed. "It's probably a baby."
5 minutes later, I'd promised my mother I wouldn't throw anything else at it OR poison it.
She'd reminded me I was in their territory these days and I should try and get along
with the critters scattered around me. And, she reminded me, they were ALL around me!
Whether I admitted it or not.
10 minutes later, I wanted another fag and my freaking phone.
Did Opossums carry off things like cell phones? Had I hit it? Scared it permanently away?
30 minutes later, I bravely left the lookup post I'd setup by the kitchen window.
It had been almost an hour with no signs of anything.
Just my lonely phone lying in the dirt, battery rapidly draining. Like a trooper
I grabbed a tennis racket, pulled my winter cap down low and headed for the wilds
that had become my front porch...
Stay on the lookout for Part Two of Baby Opossums.
In the meantime, here are some baby opossum facts I learned today:
North America's only marsupial (female has a pouch) mammal.
The female carries and nurses her young in her marsupium until they are about 2 to 3 months old;
then they are carried on her back another 1 to 2 months whenever they are away from the den.
Size of a cat; gray to black fur; black eyes; pink nose, feet and tail; black ears; and pointed nose.
Solitary and nocturnal: usually slow moving; when frightened and unable to flee
may fall into an involuntary shock-like state, "playing 'possum".
Hiss or growl and show their 50 sharp teeth when frightened; but, in reality,
they are gentle and placid— they prefer to avoid all confrontations and wish to be left alone.
Omnivorous: eats insects, snails, rodents, berries, over-ripe fruit, grasses, leaves, and carrion;
occasionally will eat snakes, ground eggs, corn or other vegetables.
Adaptable; able to live wherever water, food, and shelter exist. At home in trees;
uses its prehensile tail to help stabilize position when climbing— it does not, however, hang by its tail.
One of the shortest lived mammals for its size, typically 2 to 4 years.
Killed by many predators: humans (and cars), dogs, cats, owls, and larger wildlife.
Mutilation
I bear witness the evolving grace of pain.
I give to you my gift of tortured mind and purity of soul--
for even I am a child of God.
And by rebirth, I mutilate,
captivate, and gentle the screaming mania.
How forgotten it is.
To understand the breath of humanity is defined
in the stilling of a heart. To you I say, within my prose,
the instructions to my crucifixion. I am redeemed.
Born again beyond the closed partitions of flesh.
At last, more than just another ugly girl, laughing
hollowly at paisley jokes given by men
who never fully become erect.
Complete, basking now, in the beauty of my malignant gravity.
For the sabotage of Heaven and the sanctity of Hell. I love you.
I bite through my flesh, tearing with the frenzy of tribute to you.
I bleed forth the validity of my self-infection.
And tomorrow the world began.
Adrian's Bio
Adrian Doyle is a US Citizen, single (with one well fed cat), and recently survived turning 30. She has an educational background in social psychology (human interactions) and has worked as a movie producer for 8 years. Also a published author and poet, she writes because she loves it. In addition to articles ranging in subject from opossums to activism-gone-wrong she co-owns Girl Mafia Enterprises, a novelty and apparel brand. A Los Angeles native, Adrian lends a unique perspective to every project she undertakes and believes she has found an almost perfect combination of creative energy with focused intent
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